i'd rather run the other way than stay and see

(here)
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because,
that's how it is now.

i can't stand the wait (and see).
why should i just sit and watch, it all just goes by anyway.
i could just keep going
and never
never stop

(searching)

yet here i am. waiting.
ever so patiently.
like a good little girl.
but what if i don't want to
(be)

waiting for these changes.

in this world where everything changes
every thing
every one
every time.
moment by moment
i should have changed. apparently.
but i haven't moved.
frozen in a state of fear
at what i have seen
at what i will see
at most, i'm lost.
to change or not to change,
like i'm still some stubborn child
a past self struggling to adjust
to this new 'modern' world.

but see, i just don't want this world.
find me a new one
(impossible)
it just doesn't quite fit
(impossible)
but it consumes me (just let me go)
it denies me
and my needs
(impossible)
its rationality does nothing
(IMPOSSIBLE)
but harm me.

but who determines possibility?
whoever it is,
they suck
they really suck
they're really stuck (in this one frame of mind)
or am i?

i don't even know what i'm talking about.
i don't think anyone really does. but that's fine. it'll be your first bit of insight on 'lil ol' me:
my mind
i'm just craze-ay.
here one moment
gone
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gone
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gone the next.
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